Shrek is Love: PG Edishun

>be me
>be 19
>watching Shrek 1 for the first time in a long time
>little brother starts watching it too
>little brother says "its awesome"
>even though its halfway through
>parents come in the room
>they turn off the tv while we were watching Shrek
>I get mad
>I yell at my parents
>little brother joins in too
>Parents say "we're both grounded"
>They send us to our room
>before we're halfway up the stairs
>there was a big boom
>Shrek, happy and in his underwear, come barging to the door
>The whole room fills with the aroma of onions
>Shrek sees my parents still yelling at us
>Shrek turns on the t.v, seeing Shrek was on
>OGRE MY DEAD BODY!
>Shrek rips my dad's chest hair off
>starts eating my dad's hair vigerously
>mom freaks out
>mom runs to the phone
>shrek does a major jump, with a back flip, and lands in front of my mom before she picks up the phone
>Shrek, then, cuts an onion, then shoving gum in his mouth so the onion won't burn his eyes.
>mom passes out from the horror.
>Shrek looks at us
>"taek ur shirts off, i need 2 chek ur helth"
>Me and my brother takes off our shirts
>we watch as shrek pulls out his medic equipment.
>Shrek pulls out a stethoscope and puts it on our backs, he says "Taek uh deep breth"
>We do
>Shrek tells us to sit down
>we sit down
>Shrek puts his plexor on our knees and gives a light tap.
>There was no pain, and we had normal reflexes.
>Shrek says "K u wer 8 years l8 on ur tetnis shot ladehs, i must give it to you".
>He gives me the shot.
>Sure, it was a tad painful, but it helped.
>He goes to my brother, who does the same thing as I did
>Shrek orders us to stand up
>We do
>Shrek orders us to take our shoes off.
>We do
>Shrek tells me and my brother to step on the scales.
>so he weighed us both.
>Our weight is normal
>Shrek puts blood pressure thingy on our arms
>He pumps it
>me and my brother have normal blood pressure
>we thank shrek
>our mom awakens
>shrek gets up and leaves
>before he leaves he whispers
>"ur both helthy, stai helthy by eting rite"
>Me and my brother are happy, and will remember but one thing
>Check urself
>b4 u shrek urself

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