A Weird Simpsons DVD
Uploader's note: While this story isn't that bad per se it's incredibly generic and predictable.
Do you ever find something you don't remember owning? Be it a toy or trinket you found as a kid and forgot about, or a photo you don't remember taking? This happens to me often. I've always been a bit of a hoarder, collecting useless junk just out of virtue and holding onto it. I've forgotten about the things I've collected over the years countless times, only for it to come back to me when it ends up surfacing later on. When I found a blank, unmarked disc in my closet, however, my mind was drawing up blanks. Of course, finding something like this would be relatively normal to most people, but I can't think of any time in my entire life when I had bought an empty DVD. My friend was over, helping me pack things up for a yard sale, and he hadn't seen anything like it either. As it was getting late, we figured it'd be fun to sit back and watch whatever forgotten memories lay on this dusty, scratched-up disc. I excitedly put it into my DVD player and hit play.
After a few seconds of nothing but odd, indiscernible audio, white text appeared on the screen. It read "The simpson!" and wasn't centered. This only brought up more questions; clearly, this wasn't something I or my family had recorded. Perhaps the disk was left there from the previous homeowner?
The text abruptly cut out, and after a few more seconds of nothing, it finally began. It looked to be the intro to The Simpsons, but it was very low resolution. You could barely tell what was actually going on; the only way I could tell what it was supposed to be was the audio, which was a very shoddy cover of the show's intro theme, done on a piano or some other keyboard instrument. The intro stopped shortly after the family sat on the iconic couch and cut to what I can assume is the actual episode.
It's pretty hard to explain how the episode actually looked, but I can confidently say that it was animated in a completely different style to the show it's trying to be. The actual art style itself looked normal, outside of the unbearably low resolution, but the animation was very minimal. Characters barely moved, standing perfectly still while talking. The only part of their bodies that would move were their eyes blinking and their mouths poorly lip syncing the dialogue. Homer was standing in the middle of the living room, staring at the TV. In the background, you could hear random notes on a piano being held at random intervals. The camera zoomed into his face. "I wonder how my family is doing," he uttered in a hushed, almost perverted tone of voice. It cut to black and faded back into what appeared to be footage of the outside of a school, recorded off of a phone. It was night, so the only light was coming from the phone's flashlight. The cameraman crawled through some hedges, walked to a window, and held the phone up to it before the footage cut once more to an animated segment of Bart and Lisa in a classroom. It was dark, and the door was barricaded by a pile of desks.
"We are safe here," said Bart, "Nothing can come in or out." Lisa's face looked oddly distorted; the proportions of her facial features felt wrong. The camera lingered on a close up of Lisa's face, before she abruptly frowned, baring photorealistic teeth. Accentuating this was the sound of a loud bell, which quite frankly scared the shit out of us. My friend turned to me, visibly upset. He demanded to know if I was pulling some sort of joke on him. I couldn't answer; I was just as confused as he was. Cutting us off, Lisa would begin to speak, in a masculine voice that didn't fit the character whatsoever. "It's too late. We can't continue to run from our problems and delay the inevitable." After saying that, she would walk towards the window, opening it before vaulting out. The camera would zoom in on Bart's face. He looked legitimately distraught, with bags having formed under his eyes. Suddenly, the footage would begin to distort, as if the file was corrupted. Through the mosh of pixels, however, I could see what looked to resemble a face, having suddenly appeared behind Bart. The footage suddenly cut again.
It now showed more phone footage again, this time of the cameraman running through the woods. The camera flails wildly up and down, and you could hear the cameraman gasping for breath. Eventually, the cameraman drops his phone on the ground, face-up, and you can see the soles of his shoes for a brief moment as he disappears out of view. A cropped image of Lisa's face appeared in the middle of the screen, while the sound of wind chimes would begin to play. The video cut again to another animated segment, this time showing Homer in the living room once more. The room had noticeably deteriorated, with litter beginning to pile up around the corners of the room. The light was flickering, and eventually blew out, with only the light from the TV illuminating Homer's smiling face, his eyes vacantly staring in two different directions. "I love my family," he said. "I love my family very, very much."
It cut to an overhead shot of a city. All the buildings were gray and dingy, forming a very bleak landscape. It panned down, zooming into a street, with Lisa standing in the middle of it. The discordant piano ambience had slowed down, becoming much lower pitched and somber. "I no longer know what to do," she said. Lisa's eyes had begun darting around in random directions, with gray, foggy pupils. Her mouth hung open in a grimace, no longer syncing to her dialogue. "What will happen, I'm uncertain. The world will go on. Whatever happens, I accept it." Her eyes stopped spasming, beginning to stare into the distance vacantly. "I love my family."
The animation began to deteriorate before cutting once again to some more phone footage, this time of someone trudging through the woods at night. The piano had begun to speed up by now. As the cameraman walked down the clearing ahead of them, I began to hear a strange sound beginning to fade in, barely audible. After a minute of aimless wandering, the sound had finally become legible. It was a clip of Marge, saying "Homer?" in a worried tone. The clip would continue repeating, becoming slower each time as the sound of the piano became frantic and shrill. The cameraman eventually came across a run-down shack in the middle of the woods. The obnoxious piano had finally stopped, abruptly cutting, leaving us with nothing but the sound of forest ambience and the cameraman's labored breathing. One last "Homer?" played before the door to the shack swung open, the camera swinging around rapidly as the cameraman ran backwards at top speed. You could hear leaves crunching behind him as the footage corrupted once more, cutting to black for a moment. You could hear what sounded like dialogue from a Simpsons episode, but it was so low quality and gravely that I couldn't make out any words.
Finally, it'd fade once more to Homer in his living room. The room was a pigsty; the carpet was wet and torn, the walls were bare and covered in graffiti, and the couch had collapsed. In the middle of the room, barely illuminated by the flickering, off-screen TV, was Homer, his face off-screen. The sound of the wind chimes started again, and an image of the Simpsons family would appear in the middle of the screen. Homer's face was cropped out of the image. The image disappeared, and the footage remained on this ominous, unmoving shot of the dilapidated living room before cutting to a silent, black screen for a few seconds. We both got up, assuming the disk was over, but suddenly, it abruptly cut to Homer's face with a loud droning noise. His pupils were gone.
I almost fell over from the shock, and just as abruptly as the image appeared, it was replaced by another black, silent screen. The DVD player ejected the disc, filling the room with the smell of hot plastic. The video was finally over, and we were both flabbergasted, left with more questions than answers.
My friend finished boxing the items for the yard sale and hurriedly left, still confident that I made the disk to screw with him. I held the strange disc in my hand, contemplating what to actually do with it. I decided to look around online for any answers. Maybe this was a strange bootleg? Maybe it was an odd art project? Regardless, asking around online didn't get me anywhere. Eventually, I decided to just keep the disc. One day, I'll eventually forget about it until it pops up again sometime. Still, though, I feel unsatisfied. Maybe one day I'll stumble across an answer. One question remained in my head, though.
What did any of it mean?
Credited to Acreepypastafan
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