Bowser's Blood Machine: Difference between revisions
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One dark night, under a blood moon...I got down spectactular for Mario's juicy meatballs and spaghetti. So I made my way to a local video game store. I had never been there before, but I heard they had some great games.
▲ The game starts with Mario is at his house. He says, "It's-a me, Mario! I have-a no princesses to-a save today, so I'm-a gonna go to the Blood-a Bank so I can-a still be SUPER!!!" He exits the house, then the black screen showing World 1-1 shows up, but the little Mario in the lives counter is replaced with a blood drop. As the level begins, Mario shouts, "SUPER MARIO BLOOD-A DONOR!" and it turns out to just be an average platformer. I'm relieved it's still an actual game. I complete the easy first level, and Mario does his usual flagpole-sliding and castle entrance, but instead of an M symbol, the flag has a blood drop symbol, and instead of a castle, Mario enters a hospital.
▲ As Mario walks into the hospital doors, the doctor is facing away from him...but when the doctor turns around...it was Bowser, with an evil grin. Mario screamed! But then Bowser says, "Hello, Mr. Mario. I am here to help you donate blood. Shall we begin to process your blood donation?" and Mario smiled and said, "Yes, Dr. Bowser. I am-a ready to-a donate my-a blood."
▲ Doctor Bowser takes Mario to a white room, and he gets Mario all hooked up to the Blood Machine, but before turning it on, Bowser says, "You fell for my trap, Mario! BWA HA HA HA HA!" and he set the Blood Machine to MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE. The Blood Machine drained Mario of ALL his blood! Then, Dr. Bowser, while laughing evilly, changed out the blood bag hooked to the machine, which had an Italian flag on it, with a new blood bag that had an American flag on it. He set the machine to reverse, and all of Mario's Italian blood was replaced with American blood.
▲ Mario felt strange, he felt different, but he knew not exactly what horrific fate had fallen upon him, and it terrified him.
At this point I expected Mario to say "Mama Mia!" but he wasn't Italian anymore. He was American now. So instead he shouted "MY MOM"
I was comforted inside knowing the game was only possessed by the astrally projected spirit of the clerk from the store I went to last night. By the way, before you stop reading, are you stocked up on enough maxi pads?
[[Category:Trollpasta]]
[[Category:Mario]]
[[Category:YOU'RE NEXT]]
[[Category:DIALOGUE!]]
[[Category:Well, that was anticlimactic.]]
[[Category:English Class Failure]]
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