Devil Luvs u.exe
was playing game computer and was this popup ad that said "play 4 free anime girls" im simple man and click on it and so it was revealed that ther was no anime girls only a thing that said 21 enter my credit kard # so i did and it printed out a qr code.
scan the code and my pohone was show a picture of my murdered body from the future and it was EVIL PATRIXXX that murdered me and it said DEVL LOVES YOU and i was murdered just like i saw in the picture.
i respawned and i found my corpse and it caused a time glitch but then i got back on the computer again and there was a program on my desktop called DEVIL LOVES YOU.EXE so i clicked on it because i am smart
the EVIL PATRIXXX reappeared and attacked me agian but he was much stronger this time and it busted my heart open and blood was sprayin out of my eye sockets and all over the walls i found out next that EVIL PATRIXX was attempting 2 suck out my soul 4 s8anic ritual and but then FATTY appeeared and said "HAVE NO FEAR I WILL PROTECT" evil patrixxx looked at him and he melted and became a muk muk use fire blast and i died 2 s8an.
i was joined the CHURCH OF NOT PATRIXX (spoiler it was PATRIXX) The preist said "greeting little boy what have you come to the great church for?" i sadi "It is this i tell you sir i have escaped the clitches of the evil computer gam called DEVL LOVES U.EXE" and he said "that is wrong only jesus luv u kid now u may seek refuge in dis church's humble and not spooky or incriminating basement." i sadi "namas dae" and he said "Dat not d thing u say here" but anves went down and there was dead bodies everywear I though that was sightly strange but i'm new to religion. so I was all lik WAAAAAAW! a little puppet boy came up to me and said "I DID IT SIR I DID IT ALL IT WAS I WHO KILLED AL D DED BODIES AND NOW I MUST KILL U!" i was mad at him bcause he did not shake my hand like a decent upstanding citizen. i looked up and i could see that PATRIXX was the one who was contrilling d puppet with string. PATRIXXX yelled "UR NOT SUPPOSED 2 LOOK UP U IMBACILLIC PRIMEATE!" i was skared I said "no dis was spoed to be not PATRIXXX churhc!" Patrixx sadi "I KNOW BUT U JUST HAD RUIN IT!" i tried 2 escape but as we all know that didn't work. PATRIXXX bloked the dorway with his blubublix glycogen and said "ENOUGH! BRING HIM TEH COMPUER! HE HAZ UNFINISHED BIZNES!" i was like "NO! PLZ! several corpsesd den brought the desk to me.
i was seen dat it was a windows xp dell computer i don't no why but daz important for sum rfeason dis is important exposition thank u anyway i had 2 get on the computer with PATRIXX there right behind me blocking d dorway no one could run into d basement and i cud not run out i wa play d game. it was a pixel man dat lokt like me and a evl growning devl lol appeared on d screen and it said "FEED IT THE SOULS U COLECTED OR ELSE!" i was skared but i desdied dat maybe i cud use d souls of d dead ppl around me it worked and devl lol sadi DEVL LUVS U! computer explode and critically injured me. PATRIXX Sadi "GO HOME" os i did.
for the next few days i lived n peace recovering from my injuries UNTILL I got a knock on d dr it was teh man. teh man said "if u dern collect 30 souls and surrend dem 2 DEVL LUVS U.EXE U WILLDIE!!!!!" i scremememd and i was go out side i coudl not do dis but it it anyway after murdering all my neighbors and hideing their eyeballs in my buttox i was did d ritual my computer exploded and all was goo right!? WRONGG Patrixx appeared and siad v"very good but der is a problem" I said "WAT KUD PASABLY BE D MATTER!?" patrixx said "FATTY IS GOING 2 show up tommorw and i need u not 2 betray me or d devl's luv. understand? u must kill him. and surrend d head 2 me as confermation do u aksept dis quest? Ps ur reward is u can continu 2 liv. i said "HOW 1derful I hav no othr options" he said "Oh yes, none at all." and he disappered
next fatty appered and said "LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY I KNOW WAT PATRIXX HAS TOLD U AND U DON'T HAVE 2 DIE REGARDLESS OF WAT HAPPENS 2 ME I AM HERE 2 SAVE THE WORLD AND U SHUD RESPECT DAT RIT?" i said "I KNOW FATTY BUT PATRIXXX ALWAYS WINS!" fattty sadi "PLZ NO HE MIGHT NOT WIN DIS TIME! HEAR ME OUT MAN! IF WE ESCAPE 2 ANOTHER DAMENSHIN THEN PERHAPS WE MIGHT HAVE SOM REFUGE FOR SOME TIME FROM THE PATRIXXX!" I said "BUT FATTY THE EYE OF C'SHAN SEES ALL D DEMENSHIONS HE WILL KNOW AND HE WJILL TELL PATRIXX!" fatty said "THERE IS NO TIME FOR THOUGHTS SUCH AS THAT THIS ONE THING THAT WWE MAY DO IS IN OUR CONTROLL! SO R U JUST GOING 2 LISTEN 2 UR BLUBRY OVERLORD OR R U GOING TO D D RIGHT THING." i said "I DON'T KNOW FATTY PERHAPS C'SHAN IS TEH RULER OF RIGHT AND WRONG." fatty siad "no- no I'm 2 l8..." fatty then began 2 flee and I chased him wich was not 2 hard . i stabed him and maggots came pouring out and he siad "VERY GOOD U HAVE PASSED THE TEST I WAS PATRIXX!" but den d maggors became a giant tentacle of C'Shan wich have the thumbs up but then real fatty appeared and siad "HOW CUD U KILL SOMEONE THAT U THOUGHT WAS ME!?" patrixxx siad "BKUZ IT WUD BE A PRIVELEGE RIGHT!?" he then loiked at me and i was like "yeah watever" and patrixx said "U wud gladly doing agian like right now yes?" i said "Not again- i mean yes i shall do it." i then chase fatty agian but he had a jet back and said "BLAST U AND BLAST PATRIXXX!" but then a hyperrealistic bird swooped from the sky and clutched him in its talons and fed fatty 2 its babies.
I said "well patrixx i guess wer on good terms now yes?" patrixx said "U FAILED I TOLD U 2 GET HIS HEAD AS CONFIRMATION" i decided to just start running in a random direction unfortunately my randomizer was messed up so i ran right into PATRIXXX "what is the meaning of this then?" he asked i was just like "just get it overwiht man" he said "NO" adn disappeared. he den left a note that said "BRB"
I liv peacefully for the next months. I got into a relationship with a girl for japan and i flew her over here. I got a very lucrative job at DESK JOB.EXE and made six figures. i den had ten beautiful children and my life was perfect. then EVIL PATRIXX reappeared and kild me
ur next
t nd.
Written by Church of C'Shan
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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