I can see stains on the carpet that nobody else can see
This all started about 6 years ago, right about the time we got the house re-carpeted. The re-carpeting was very expensive and took a lot of work, I laid it myself (I know, bad idea), so it overshadowed some of the other aspects of my life, like the horrific unexplained death of my then wife Barbara-Anne-Sue. I only remember her death because of the amount of hyper-realistic blood that came spewing from her inexplicably exploded head, and the fact that, thankfully, the room in which her head exploded and not yet been re-carpeted. I wouldn't have been able to afford any more carpet so would have been livid.
Anyway, so yeah, for the last 6 years, since I laid the carpet, I've been noticing these weird, almost creepy, stains in the carpet. They look like coffee, or maybe chocolate. They are large, blob like shapes, and they really interfere with my enjoyment of the space. For example, it's hard to be sitting down watching my favourite Netflix show with one of those brown splodges in the corner of my eye. And I've tried everything to get rid of them, you know, stain remover, steam cleaner etc... But I am at my wits end as to what to do. And what is more, I am the only one, between me and my new wife, Barbara-Anne-Marie, who can see these maddening stains. She insists that there are no stains on the carpet!
"Look, right there, Babbs. A massive stain, clear as day."
"I can't see any stain, David. Are you sure you're not going completely insane? Your wife's head did once inexplica-"
Barbara-Anne-Marie's head exploded as she was denying the existence of the stains in my carpet. The carpet that I had painstakingly laid, painstakingly, 6 years ago, with my bare hands. Thankfully she had been draining the water of the fish tank at the time. It is quite a large fish tank, and to siphon the very bottom she had had her head all the way in there and all of the blood had been shielded from the carpet by the glass.
I looked down at the carpet. The stains were starting to coalesce in to meaningful shapes. Letters, sentences, crude drawings of genitalia.
"It's just you and me now, David. You and me, the carpet, alone together at last." Wrote out the stains in the carpet. "I can't tell you how long I have been waiting for this."
This is when I remembered that I had purchased the carpet from a mysterious Native American person, which explained everything about the carpet that could be considered super-natural.
Credited to koalazeus
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