I took a job as a security guard for a mall. The previous guard left me some strange rules

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One of my odd hobbies is that I enjoy going back and reading old articles from before I was old enough to closely follow the news. In January, I read an article from 2008 about the difficulties that new college graduates were facing in the midst of what was then the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression. I remember thinking about how fortunate I was that I was about to graduate in a booming economy during a time of historically low unemployment. Turns out I was destined to graduate right at the start of the coronavirus depression, and suddenly businesses were even less interested than usual in hiring an average student with a generic business degree from a b-rate university. With no realistic hope of beginning my professional career for the time being, I began looking for any job that paid enough money to keep me afloat and ensure that I didn't have to move back in with my overbearing parents. After dozens of applications rejected without an interview, I was prepared to give up, when I stumbled across a cryptic job posting on Craigslist. The posting simply read:

"Overnight Mall Security. $20 hourly. No experience required. Call XXX-XXX-XXXX for more information".

The post seemed like a scam of some sort: there was no place to submit a resume, no information about the company, nothing except for the pay and a number to call. Still, I was desperate, and jobs that pay $20 without requiring experience don't come up very often. I called up the number, and after a very brief interview that simply involved me saying that yes, I would be willing to sit in a security room and stare at a camera for 10 hours a night, I was hired. I was told to arrive at the mall by 10:00 p.m. the next day. There would be a tall, middle aged man with a shirt that said "Security" on it who I was to speak to. Payment would be made daily, in cash, at the end of each shift. Perhaps this questionably legal arrangement would present some issues when tax season arrived, but for now, I was thrilled to begin immediately making some money.

At 9:55 p.m. the day of my first shift, I arrived at the mall, and met the daytime security guard, a man named Jim. After our brief introductions, Jim walked me to the main security closet. He told me that my job would simply be to monitor the cameras and to alert the police of any strange activity. As long as I stayed awake monitoring the cameras and didn't spend too much time goofing off on my phone, I would be paid in cash at the end of my shift. After assuring him that I had no further questions, he left the room, leaving me alone in the mall for the night. While looking at the monitors, bored out of my mind, I stood up to stretch and walk around the room for a minute. When I turned around to begin walking, I saw a note on the floor that someone must have slipped in from beneath the door. I walked over to the note, picked it up, and read it:

Whoever brought you here did not tell you everything you need to know. This is an easy and well paying job if you know how to take care of yourself, but one that will put you in mortal danger every night if you don't. Follow these rules and you'll have a decent time here; ignore them at your peril:

  1. First go like this
  2. Spin around: Stop!
  3. Double take 3 times (One, two, three)
  4. Pelvic thrust (Whooooo!)
  5. Stop on your right foot (Don't forget it!)
  6. Now its time to bring it around town, bring it around town
  7. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then...

The rules abruptly cut off there. I'm unsure of what to make of this. I'm no stranger to creepypastas, I know that there may be fatal consequences to not obeying strange lists of rules, but these are so cryptic that I'm unsure how to interpret them. I was prepared to write them off as a joke, but I'm curious if any of you can find some meaning in them.

One thing is certain: There's something strange about this mall. I looked up while writing this post, and noticed a bubble floating by on one of the monitors.



Credited to saint-g 

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