Joe Mama's Spooky Occultish Haunted Museum

Hi, my name is none of your business, I am suffering from Ligma and Japanese is not my first language, so bear with me. My wife whose name is also not your business works as a janitor in Joe Mama's Spooky Occultish Haunted Museum, and she finally was able to let me take a tour! After paying $420 entrance fee, I was beyond excited to see where she worked all these years.

"Hey, don't forget your rosary," she said. "We have a priest on standby since everything in this museum is very spooky and very haunted. And some things are from the occult!"

I was scared shitless, to say the least. But I was getting bored of horror movies being my only source of terror. And the occasional demon that would latch itself onto my wife after some bad days at work. And then we'd have an exorcism and that would ruin our very romantic evening of throwing cheese curds at each other.

Anyway, I digress. I clutched the rosary tight in my hands and followed her down this long, scary hallway. "This is Big Chungus, and he'll be your tour guide!" my wife told me.

"Not you?" I asked, almost about to start sputtering on my tears.

"No, hun, I'm just a mere janitor, remember?"

"Right, ok." I followed Big Chungus to the last door on the left.

"Just what do you think you're doing!" Big Chungus grumbled. "This is the bathroom! Single person!" He gestured at the single toilet.

"Oh, I can't watch?" I asked. "I thought it was part of the tour." Dejected, I stepped back as he slammed the door and did his business.

"Come on," he said angrily after he exited the bathroom. "What's on your list? Your wife said you wanted to see--"

"DEEZ NUTS!"

the end

please follow r/thanoschungus xoxo

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Credited to mysticaltater 

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