Oh hecc oh fricc

So here I was, just minding my own business eating pepper jack cheez its (those are fuckin amazing) in the bathtub like any sane person would do on a Wednesday night after a stressful day at work shucking corn.

I was listening to some ocean whitefish tuna swimming in mp3 form when suddenly I choked on a cracker and almost died. I couldn't believe my beady little eyes. Materialized right in front of me was Sam Loomis himself! (He's the dude in Bates Motel! I think he's also the boyfriend in Psycho. And the doctor in Halloween but this was actually the Bates Motel guy. Speaking of Loomis, that reminds me of the word Loom. As in Fruit of the Loom. Which totally had a cornucopia in the logo, right? My idiot coworker doesn't even know what a cornucopia is. I hate him and his stupid face.)

Anyway. Sam Loomis was sitting there right in my bathtub. Thankfully he was wearing clothes but since this is r/nosleep it has to be creepy. So he did have his stab wounds. TWENTY EIGHT STAB WOUNDS. "Dude, how did you get into my bathtub?" I asked him. He was busy head-banging at nothing. I tossed a cracker at him and it bonked onto his forehead and gracelessly dropped into the water, sinking as it got soggy. I raided Walmart's stock of these babies, and I just wasted one precious cracker-nugget on this loser.

"Hello?" I asked Mr. Loomis, waving my hands in front of his face. "Why are you here?"

Then I realized. He was a ghost. And even worse? He had airpods in. So he couldn't hear me. Sam Loomis watch out, you're in a stranger's bathtub. You're dead. He can't hear me. Oh godzilla oh fuck he's got airpods in.

...

He can't hear me.

---

Credited to mysticaltater 

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