Patrixx asalt
NO READ NO READ NO READ NO READ!!!!!
soz 1 dayz i was lookin at funny pikshers of pepl eating egg sandwich and den PATRIXX poped out of teh skreen and say "U BAD 4 LOK AT THAT ALL THE PPL U C R DED I KILLD THEM AND I GOT UR MAMA'S CRDT CARD SO U NO CAN BUY USED EGG SANDVICHS SO I AM KILL U!"
th batle begn 1st e punch me and i was all dead and i brayk the window wit my mama's hardend wedding cake. i runed out th door an PATRIXX use th window lik a geniyus as a shortkut and he 8 my mama and her weddin cake and say "diz cake so bad u kan suck my nicker" and stol th whel char and we was soooo fast in it i can no run aways from him and he runed over mes and i died again.
so a guy cam around th cornr wif a sperts car and he solds it to me for a slice of my mama's weddin kake and i rand over PATRIXX but he no die an he gathr his PATRIXX strenth and punch tha car and it flu to te othr side of the world and it night time and he telepert ther and 8 my iphone an i rand n a chinees restrnt and mak a sushi sanvich and patrixx cam in and say "SURENDER THE SANDVICH OR DIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!" i 8 it and he kik me i i was all dead adn then i wtol the cahs rejister and use it as wepon an i keep slamming it in PATRIXX's face and PATRIXX puk up a quarter and stuffed it up my nose and i ran to a stor and ther was stuff in there.
i pik up a barby doll and trow it at PATRIXX adn PATRIXX grab grab my shirt adn kep punchin mes n ta face and ten PATRIXX threw up th sushe sandvich n my mouth and i taste bile acid and fish and then me adn he go in stor and i threw a can of mashed potatos at him and he trrew a whol shelf at mee and i get dead and i threw a cromputer from 17 at him and he threw a keyboard and the keys fly off and spell "U WILL DIE LOLZ" AND THEN he turned in skelolten and shoot me n th faace and i was all dead and stuff and i threw a roll of tape at him and the throw a role of used toilet paper at me and then he kiked m n the face and i gets al dead like and then we goes to verizon and i trwo fones at him and stole a new iphone and patrixx sayd "SURRENDER NOW DIEEEEEE!!!!"
so i get fist and i gos fly to hungry and patrixx appered 8 all peopel and my ifone and i run n weapon stor and get a masheen gun and i shot PATRIXX n th face 48 times but he no die and so i threw it at him and he get a rifle and and patrixx loaded the masheen gun and shot ME in th face 48 times and i died and i get lazer gun and shot patrixx n th face and he ran to a ten story buildng i follow him and he gather PATRIXX POWER and he trew th 10 story building at me and i get dead 70000 times and then i get phone out o verizon and dile 911 an i tell them PATRIXX si attikin me and the say "lolz we b rit over" and patrixx call for pizza and then wen he done i threw 11 phones at him and he ansers each phone and said "SURRENDER NOW DIEEEE!!!" adn all the ppl on phoones die and turn n 2 poped out skeletons.
th pizza arive and patrix 8 the pizza guy and the pizza and stol his car and ran into verizon and crushed me and i pop in the car and slammed his face into the steering weel and he kik mes and i broke th door down and he ran over me again and then i seez a popcorn stand so me and PATRIXX 8 some bobcorn 2gether and PATRIXX take popkorn stand and throw it at me and then patrixx gather PATRIXX POWER and he throw me up to the moon
patrixx came and take a moonrok and shot me in the face with it and i died ther was a robot takin pikshurs and patrixx haked it and he fire camera beams at me and bern my eyes and he 8 egg sandvich and i 8 a moonrock salad and died of moon poison.
PATRIXX called skelolten and patrixx fired a camera beam at him and skelolten coudl now flash and he flash my eyes get pain and i opened my eyes and PATRIXX as there and said "SURRENDER NOW DIEEEE!" and then i get thrown to the sun and the sun turn into PATRIXX SUN while i flew towards it and PATRIXX SUN opened its mouth and i fly in and i go to suns stomak and PATRIXX was there and said "SURRENDER NOW DIEEE!" and PATRIXX throw ffist at me and i get blow to the big red dot on jewpiter oh by the way that time i get dead 100000 times.
Sudenly i hears some one say "skeloltens ataaaaaaaak" and then 10000000 skeloltens poped out and they all hav gun and shut me in and all o the egg sanviches i ever 8 came out and PATRIXX 8 them and PATRIXX send his fist at me and i flew back to my house PATRIXX was getting worse he shows mercy = 0%
PATRIXX Teleported 2 me mi littl dog started barkin at him lik crazy and he saided "SURRENDER NOW DIEEEEE!!!" then dog die and i was spoooooooooooked 2 move then i sez "U GOOD 4 NUTHIN KNICKER SUCKER U! U LOSER AND CAN SUCK MY NICKER ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK!" PATRIXX said "daz a good idea" and he shoved his knickers in my mouth and we skipped happyly 2 the bank and ther was a lady said "DEPOSTI SOUL!!!!" and i said "shut up no way" and PATRIXX said "lol" and shoot me n d face i then ran 2 McDOnalds
PATRIXX then has hyperrealistik speshial gun and he shoot big maks n my mouth and i get so fat that i explode and then i was bak 2 life of course and i ran 2 d bank and he ses "COME BAK 2 DIIIIIIIIIIE!!!" i said "lol never" and i threw hot oil on him and it was not very effective becuase hes PATRIXX type and he said "LOL" he then piked up an old lady that was eating and threw her at me and i died and then i piked up a chair and threw it at him then we went to O'Charlies exe.
i said "lol i go 2 th bar" i pik up bottles of alkohol and threw them and he said "lol" he then tell the waiters to bring him and egg sandvich wich they do and i then ear someone say "the nuke is ready!" PATRIXX ran outside and he came bak with a nuke bomb and he said "lol no 1 leaves here if anyone tries to leav i wil puntch them n the face!" then stupid gut stood up and said "does that include-" but he was killed by the poped out skelolten of my dog!!! then a voice came from the nuke and said "30 seconds left lol" and i was lik "some1 stop th bomb!" and PATRIXX said "lol" he then gets masheen gun adn shoots me so much that i be blown 2 peices and wen i came bak 2 life PATRIXX was using his PATRIXX SHEILD an i herd the biggest expodion n world history now the earth was lik a cresent lik th moon and i was blown bak n TIME!!
i was transported 2 1953 and i was like "NO WAY" then PATRIXX appeared and said "lol i travl back in time to cause u die because we hav a battle 2 finish" he them pik up a 10 story bilding eats it and spits it back up as a giant sludge bomb and i die of course i come bak 2 live and PATRIXX said 'lol u no wat year it is?" then suddenly C'SHAN pops out right under me and says weird stuff that I remember = 0% and then teleported me back to my original time but everything was back 2 normal and my mama was al alive again and so was my dong and mamas 38 year old wedding cake and i was lik "YAAAAY!"
but then PATRIXX appeard and said "lol its just gettin started lol!" then he 8 my mama and spit her bones out like watermelon seeds in my face and it kiled me 206 times cause i think that how many bone she bat but im not shure. then he 8 my dog and weedding cake and spits it bak out as and atomic cannon ball and i die REAAAAAAAAAALYY BIGG!!! and i was lik "no way i can't beleev ths" and patrixx was chasin me so i got n my mamas car and PATRIXX got in the PATRIXX MOBLIE and we wer n a hi speed chase!
PATRIXX MOBILE is equipt wif masheen guns and he shot windows and glass hit me n th face i die much times and for but i do keep driving at 125 mph but poles not like that so they began toz chase us but PATRIXX no like it ether so PATRIXX MOBILE use giant crane and pik up the polese car and throw it at mine and my car hit it and exploded because i tapped it with my bumper and the skelolten of the policeman poped out of the reck and said "U DIE!" and then shots me n the face and i died = 100%. Patrixx mobile then pik me up with crane then PATRIXX mobile have hot air ballon that looked like PATRIXX's head that was then float to giant faktory that maks guns and deadly stuff and the hole way there skeloltens keep popin out of the baloon and they all b eqipped with masheen guns and lazer vision and they shoot me in the face oh by the way PATRIXX baloon is mad of iron then PATRIXX said "now then" all skeloltens strated 2 skream and they stop poping out and we fall in 2 factory
PATRIXX finds gravity gun adn shoots me away and i crash into some pepl who worked there and they diead on impact because im so obease then steloltens pops out of ther bodys and they all have gravity gun then patrixx combine the power of there guns and shoots me so hard that i fly thru the universe and cum back thru the other side lik in pacman and adn land in japan again adn patrixx comes adn then i go back 2 japanese restront and ther was the bloddy quarter on the floor that patrixx shoved up my nose then th guy that own the place can speak english and said "u and ur fat frend broke cash register and ruin my bisnes u can suck my knicker!" then PATRIXX appeared and said "so we meet again!" and then the guy was revealed to be anti-patrixx in diskise!
patrixx say "i will not kil u this time if u help me beat up this patronizer!" so anti-patrixx and patrixx play vollyball with by body by punchin me back and forth and i kept dyin but the worst dying was wen PATRIXX punch me then he punch me back 2 amerika and then patrixx saided "i lied" and ate anti-patrixx then he teleported 2 wer i was in amerika and he shot me n the face i died then he hit me n the head with a base ball bat and i died again and i was the arrested by the polese for casuing all of this trouble then PATRIXX appeared in jail and pulled the chains off the wall and beat me with them and punch a big hol n the wall and trow me out and i fall 19 stories and died 19 times bekouse of that. he jump on my body and i get all dead again and i get knocked back 2 mercury and the puch was so hard that it blew a hole in my face and i diead again and it hot ther and patrixx appeared and say "lol" and hi pick up mercry and throw it at the sun and PATRIXX SUN ate it and spit it at me and i gets all dead = 100000000000 times and i was blow to venus and i get hurt real bad cause it was raininc acid and PATRIXX came and say "lololol u r b dead" he then suken up all the acid and turn it into a acid bomb and shov it down my mouth and it exploded and i diead 1953 more times adn was blow 2 mars.
ther was a robot on mars to and patrixx hacked it again and shoots me with a lazer and patrixx said "lol best robot ever" he then hack it and fires a misle at me and i diead 100 times and i get blow to saturn's north pol and i be in giant storm and PATRIXX poped out and say "lol" and he call PATRIXX SUN and patrixx sun spit fire balls at me and i get dead 1000000 times and i go to unrinus. Patrixx punched me adn cracked my fatty layer called 'lol ur dead' and i then hit neptune and it exploded and then i was sent to pluton and it was freezing ther and the PATRIXX SUN said "SURRENDER NOW DIEEE" and pluto expploded and i got dead 4 times.
PAtrixx said "LETS END THIS' we then played rock paper sissors i lost adn got dead 4 good
ur next
the end
P.S. my mamas wedding cake is now Jupiter's new ring.
Written by Church of C'Shan
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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