Spoderman.Exe
The following story was found in a diary owned by Bob Smallpenis. He was mysteriously killed and had his balls chopped off . This was also found alongside a note, and ahis computer, which had a strange disc in it. We gave the disk to goodwill. Hope you enjoy!
-Teh Cops
Teh Stori!!!
One day I was playing mai new game Spoderman: Maximum Cornage, when I saw my mailman put a package in my mailbox. I opened the package, and saw a disc and a piece of paper. The paper was a letter from my great friend, Skyle (original character do not steal). I havent seen him in 500 years, so I was happy to read a letter from him. It said this:
Dear Bob,
I need you to break this disc. This disc is very dangerous and can kill you. Just, DONT PLAY THIS GAME! He has too much sweg for me! He is gonna kill me! Break the disc.
Love, Skyle
I thought this was a glitch, so I pulled out the disc and looked at it. It said in RED marker "Spoderman.exe". I was so excited to see my friend sent me a Spoderman game, because I LOVE Spoderman. I decided that playing the disc, what my friend told me NOT to do, would not hurt. I put it in my XSation 420 and plugged my controller in. It showed some company logos, which I COULD NOT SKIP, and then the title screen from the first Spoderman game appeared. I usually do not play the old Spoderman games, but I didnt mind. But, for one tenth of a milisecond I saw a skery image that was in infrared but I can see infrared so I could see it. The water in the background was replaced by Mountain Dew: Code RED, the medallion Spoderman was in was rusted, but the worst part was Spoderman's look. His eyes were black and had BLOOD bleeding from them. It was all 2spooky4me, but me being the shitheaded idiot I am I thought this was a glitch, and continued playing.
The screen turned black and I heard an evil BB laugh from FNAF 2 it was so evil and scareeee. It then showed the character selection screen from Spoderman 3. What the Hell?! Anyways there were different characters on the saves. There was Dolan, Shrek, Juses, and Evil Patrixx. I decided to play as Dolan first since he was my favorite character. The level was called FuckingShit Zone 69. There was an amazingly MLG dubstep song playing in the background but backwards and in G-Minor. I was playing as Dolan, HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I moved him to the left, since that was the only thing I could do, and eventually saw something very scary. There were dead skrubs hanging from the trees and laying on the ground with BLOOD and GUTS all over the place. It was SOOOOOO SCAREEEEEEE! Then, Spoderman appeared. Dolan walked towards Spoderman with joy. Then, Spoderman opened his eyes and they were black, and then the screen goes black. Then, the place was on fire, and Spoderman was chasing Dolan. OH NO! Dolan got hit by Spoderman, and then Spoderman said "Ur un cuck" which Dolan replied with "Y U DO DIS!!!!" before screeming HYPER-REALISTIC SCREAMS and bleeding HYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD!!!!! It then went back to the screen again, but Dolan's file was crossed out.
I then decided to choose Shrek. The level said ILiekUrMum Zone 420. I then heard the Evil BB laugh, which was still kinda scary. I decided to go right, and found myself in some robotic zone. After walking some more, I saw Spoderman. I walked towards him but Spoderman flashed over the screen. Then Spoderman was just standing there, smug as shit. I walked towards him, but he was just a decoy. I turned around and it was another decoy. This went on around 67 times before I accidentally touched the REAL Spoderman. He said "Ur an large betch" and then stabbed me, with more HYPER-REALISTIC SCREAMS and HYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD. I went back to the title screen, and Shrek was crossed out. This was starting to get scary...
I thought that this was so bad that I needed a drink. I went to the nearby Tesco, bought some apple juiceboxes, and sipped at them while crying tears of intense fear in my shower. I then fell asleep, in my shower, and had the worst of nightmares. It was the scary Spoderman from that one picture, and he was there in front of me. He said "I will kill you since ur an cuck" He then kept laughing that dumb BB laugh like the enragement child he was. I was so ticked off a did a whole Bob.Exe on his ass and shot him with lasers. He then said " Listen here, you little shit, I want you to finish the game and LET ME KILL YOU!" I woke up and went to my computer screen and played the game some more.
I clicked on Juses, causing the screen to go black, the BB laugh, blah blah blah. It showed Juses in a tiled area. Walking to the side revealed some stairs. I walked down the stairs and saw that as I went deeper and deeper the background went darker and darker. I realized I was going down into a basement or sex dungeoin of some kind. Was this the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie everyone was talking about? I hope not. Anyways, Juses kept on going. Then, when he went deeper enough , there was STATIC! Then, the floor was covered in ketchup, or maybe it was more Mountain Dew Code: Red, but anyways it was SCARYYYYYYYY! Then, Spoderman was chasing Juses, which made me so tense. Like rock-hard nipples tense. When Spoderman caught Juses, there was, once again, HYPER-REALISTIC SCREAMS and HYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD. I was not scared by this AT ALL. Now, all I had left was Evil Patrixxx...
I clicked on Evil Patrixx. Once again, there was the black screen and dumb BB laugh. I wasnt playing as Patrixx, I was playing as a bag of Dorritos. Then, Spoderman just killed me, but instead of HYPER-REALISTIC SCREAMS and HYPER-REALISTIC BLOOD, there was HYPER-REALISTIC CRUMBS and HYPER-REALISTIC CRUNCHING NOISES! THIS WAS SOOOO DAM SCAREEEEEEE! Then, I was playing as Evil Patrixxx. He walked up to Spoderman, who said, "I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU THEIR SOULS BACK!!!!" Then, Patrixx said, "I DONT CARE ABOUT DEM FUCKIN SOULS! I WANT MAH DORRITOS!!!!" then SPoderman said, "I KILLED YOUR DORRITOS TOO YOUR CUCK!!!11!!!!!11!!!!1ONE!!!!" Then, the two are fighting each other with lasers and fire. Then, Spoderman shoots webs and kills Evil Patrixx! OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Then, it showed Spoderman with all of the dead bodies of his victims, then there was static. It showed a SUPER HYPER-REALISTIC SPODERMAN!!! The picture shown is kinda like what it looked like. Then, as I was terrified of this, there was a SPODERMAN DOLL ON MY BED!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I killed Bob because he is un cuck
-Spoderman
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