Ted Bundy (SNES)

"I wish Ted murdered your ass in the 70s." My stepfather told me at breakfast. "Good thing I wasn't born in the 70s you puckhead. I would've been a serial killer like him back then, and I would've been the one to murder that punk-ass bitch." I said as I scarfed down some eggs. In a fit of rage, my stepfather got up from the table and grabbed his shotgun. I just ignored him and kept eating. He does that when he gets angry. It's cute. After yelling at me some more, I finished breakfast and headed out the door for school. I live in a lame rural area that has a lot of wilderness. It's the same forest where the bodies of Ted Bundy's victims were uncovered. But that's all boring boomer stuff now, so who cares. Serial killing isn't in style anymore thankfully. But if I were born in the 50s, I would probably kill people in the 70s for fun too. Why do you think there were so many serial killers back then? It was one of the only fun things to do back then.

As I was waiting at the bus stop, I got the sudden feeling I was being watched. I looked behind me and saw something so awful, so vile, it was like someone ripped my soul in half and shot it into the infernal plane. That's how much it hurt to see this. I had to fight the urge to vomit. "What are you looking at?" the kid holding an iPhone 7 said to me. I paused. "You're such a dork. That phone is so last decade. Do you even know how to use that thing? Maybe you should get a job!" I said trying to ignore the pain and the urge to smash this little pucker's face in. "I'm not even rich and even I have the latest iPhone!" I said before shoving him to the muddy ground and throwing a $100 bill at him. I don't wanna be on the same bus as this kid, so I'll just walk to school.

Through my trek in the woods, the foul odor of a different kind of death was in the air. It took a moment for the smell of putrefying flesh to hit me, and when it did, it knocked me onto my knees. I looked up and saw a lifeless corpse hanging from a tree. OMG I gotta tell my friends! I took out my phone and began snapping pics of the corpse like an amateur sleuth. "Damn at least this guy had some drip!" I said after I snatched the gold chain from his lifeless neck. However, I did notice something old on the guy that was not drippy at all. There appeared to be an old SNES cartridge clutched in his corpse hand. It was all dirty and had "T.R.B." written on it in sharpie. Wait, those are Ted Bundy's initials. Is Ted Bundy back on the prowess killing more innocent lives? I know they say he was executed in the 80s, but the media isn't entirely truthful. I prefer newer games, but a video game made by the handsome Ted Bundy is too good to pass up. I recorded a quick video of me playing with the corpse for Insta then went home with the cartridge. Yeah, I'm skipping school.

Back home I began rummaging through the closet for my stepfather's Super Nintendo system. "What the hell are you doing?" he yelled. "You're not supposed to be in there! This is private property!" he said before taking a swing of beer. I ignored him and pulled out his old, piss yellow Super Nintendo. "That Pisstendo has seen a lot of golden showers. I was too lazy to go to the bathroom so I would piss on it to piss off your mom. She needs to piss off!" My stepdad walked off and I put on some rubber gloves and carried the SNES to my room. I shoved the dirty-ass cartridge into the piss-slot and booted up the game on my HD TV.

The title screen was an ominous black and had the text "T.R.B. Confessions" with an image of the man himself. The next screen was another black screen, almost as black as my heart. But it had white text that read: "47.5599° N, 122.0555° W" I put the coordinates in Google Maps and it showed a spot in my backyard. Sweet, I hope there's a dead body there!

I sprinted out the door with a shovel and began digging in the spot in the backyard. Soon as I struck the ground, the scent of a fresh human corpse filled my nostrils. I gagged but kept digging because finding two corpses in one day is a once and a life time event. The amount of likes I'm gonna get on the 'Gram for this I can't even fathom. "What the hell are you doing you you little shit?" my stepfather said as he approached me. I kept digging though. Each strike revealed more of the body. My stepdad peered into the hole. "A dead corpse? On my property?! This is an outrage!" he said. "Wait, what if this is one of Ted Bundy's victims? We could make millions off this!" I said. "Well shit, dig that bitch out of the grave!" My stepdad grabbed the shovel and dug out the rotted corpse from its grave. We brought it inside and began examining it.

"Look for bite marks, that's how we'll know it's one of Bundy's!" Stepdad said. "What the hell are you doing you little shit?" yelled my mom who just got home from work. "Don't you know it's a sin to desecrate the dead?" "Shut up mom we're trying to figure out of this is a Ted Bundy crime, not a desecration of the dead," I said. Then my mom stormed off to my her and stepdad's room. Uh oh. She's gonna bring out the shot gun and argue with stepdad. Time to escape, but not before I took some pics of the corpse then headed back to my room with the Ted Bundy video game. The game alone could be worth a ton of money. Now can you imagine if a victim of Ted Bundy was thrown into the mix? We'd be richer than a Croesus!

Suddenly, my iPhone from the current year began ringing. Unknown caller. "Hello?" "Hi. Keep playing that game of mine for a surprise. I'll be in touch tonight." The caller sounded an awful lot like Ted Bundy. OMG will I be able to meet Ted Bundy too? This week is shaping up to be the best week ever! I eagerly picked up my controller and proceeded through the game. The next screen had a black background with some 16-bit trees placed around. 16.5 seconds later a slow ticking noise began to echo throughout the whole room. Then I saw the silhouette of a gun barrel pointing at me. Then the shot rang out and I screamed. My whole body felt hot fire. I've been shot by Ted Bundy through the video game. The digital singularity had begun. Video games were no longer a fictional, digital existence. They were real and they had become a pathway to this horrific, sadistic version of heaven. I closed my eyes as I felt the bullet suck the life out of my lungs.

I then open my eyes, and realized I was completely exaggerating the entire thing. I didn't get shot, but it sure felt like it. Now displayed on the screen were new coordinates. I assume the 16-bit gunshot means Ted shot this next victim. I once again put the coordinates in Google Maps and it revealed... Me. My bedroom! Suddenly a psychotic lunatic wearing a Ted Bundy mask barged in my room wielding a weapon that looked like a massive kitchen knife. "Who the hell are you?!" I shrieked. "I'm the man who's gonna cut you a deal." He replied. "You can either die a gruesome death or I can make you my ghostly slave." He then plunged the knife into my neck. "S-so you aren't Ted B-Bundy?" I asked while choking on my own blood. "The name's Theodore Roosevelt Bundy. Just finishing what he started. Thanks for playing, now GAME OVER!"

So Ted Bundy really did fry in the 80s. Now there's some cheap copycat trying to take advantage of his work. That makes me sick. Ted Bundy had a legacy and this loser is trying to ruin it. If he didn't kill me, I would've become a serial killer myself just to prove I can rack up more kills than this stupid puckhead. But even if I did survive, the corpses and SNES game I discovered won't be worth a damn since they're from a pathetic copycat killer. What a joke. I at least hope this guy shanked that punk-ass kid in the gut for still carrying around that dripless iPhone 7.

Just before I took my last breath, I heard my stepfather say something that made me smile.

"Thanks for killing my daughter, Teddy. Need a place to stay?"

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