The Truth About The Shadow Reader
Author's note: Like I always say when I write one of these: this story is a funnypasta, and is not meant to be taken seriously whatsoever. Also, Shadow if you're reading this I do not mean to offend you in any way shape, or form. I have great respect for you, and your videos. This is merely just a silly little story I came up with. With that being said, I hope you enjoy the story.
You know that old saying 'never meet your heroes?' I never really understood what that phrase meant until now.
About a week ago, I walked into my local McDonalds to get some food. That's when I saw him. The Shadow Reader was sat at one of the tables eating some food. I am a huge fan of Shadow, and love his channel in fact he's probably my favourite YouTuber of all time... or well at least he was.
I went up to him, and greeted him with a friendly "hello Shadow!" Shadow turned to look at me, and smiled. "hey there buddy how it's going?" Shadow asked while gesturing for me to sit down. "I thought you were banned at McDonalds Shadow?" I asked confused. "That was just a story: one of those smelly stories." Shadow explained while shoving six chicken nuggets into his mouth all in one go.
"I have to say I'm pretty big fan of your Shadow." I said when all of the sudden Shadow's stomach made an unpleasent sound. "Ooh um if you excuse me I better be on my way. This McDonald's appears to have aggrivated my gas exchange." Shadow said while getting up from his seat. "But Shadow we just started..." I was rudely cut off by Shadow who yelled, "by all the saints get some perspective dude I'm busy!" Shadow then walked outside of the resturant glaring at me as he did so. "What was that about?" I asked myself.
I followed him outside, and saw that he was heading towards the trailer park. I started to follow him. Creepy I know, but you know what they say about washing machines. Shadow finally reached his trailer, but just as he was about to walk in I stopped him. "What are you doing here?" Shadow asked in a harsh voice not at all like himself. "Sorry I just really wanted to speak to you." I said quietly as Shadow said, "well since you're here. Wanna come inside?" I said "yes," and headed inside the trailer with Shadow closing the door behind us.
"So Shadow..." I said as I sat down on Shadow's bed, "got any creepypastas you're planning on writing?" "Well all I can say is that I'm nearly finished on a new Backyardigans creepypasta." Shadow began as he placed his jacket down on the kitchen table. He then continued with, "it's called "Pablo Gets Lost," and it's about Pablo getting lost in a shopping centre only to be found by the local mafia who claim that his father used to work for them." Shadow explained before continuing again with, "he'll be forced to work for them to pay off a debt his father owed to them many years back, and the other Backyardigans as well as Pablo's mother set out to save him." "That doesn't really sound all that scary Shadow." I said which caused Shadow to slap me very aggresively.
"Don't question me boyio!" Shadow barked as he sat down on a chair across from his bed. As he sat down he let out a massive fart which smelt like rotten meat wrapped in a bag which had been set on fire by a Chinese man named Eddie Ling, and his husband Ping who joined the army. Yeah that's how bad it was. Shadow didn't even say "excuse me" or anything either, and instead asked, "would you mind making us some cups of tea?" "Um sure." I said as I made my way into Shadow's kitchen.
I was a little confused as to why Shadow wouldn't be making the cups of tea himself, but I brushed it off, as I began making them. Shadow then got off from the chair he was sitting on after another large fart, and began speaking again. "these lost episodes are hard work ya know. Takes time and effort, and with YouTube age restricting nearly all of my videos it's making creepypasta writing a lot harder for me." Shadow then continued with, "It worries me. You see my channel is classified as trouble, anyone associated with it is also trouble according to them, and that's my job: eliminating trouble." Shadow finished as he removed his fedora revealing a large zipper on his forehead.
I dropped the cups of tea down onto the floor causing hot sweet tea to spill all over it. Shadow then unzipped the zipper, and began to strip down. That's when I saw it. A large green alien popped out, and left the discarded skin of Shadow on the floor. "What the hell are you!?" I asked in utter shock. "I am The Shadow Reader in my true form,, and this is my hunt." The creature said in a voice that sounded like Shadow's but a tad bit distorted as he made it's way towards me. I was huddled up into a corner, as the creature glared down at me with it's big beady black eyes. It had a large giffare like neck with some sort of device attached to it. It also huge claws, a baby like face with huge beady black eyes, and was incredibly tall nearly eight foot I'd say.
Thinking quickly, I grabbed the kettle, and it's contents all over the creature causing it to scream in pain. I ran out of the trailer, and ran all the way back to my apartment.
I shut the door tight behind me. My mind was racing. What the hell was that creature? Was had it done with Shadow? Then it hit me that creature was Shadow, it had killed the real Shadow, and used his skin for a suit. How long had it been in his body? Had Shadow always been a weird alien, and we just didn't know it? Now the day's events made sense, Shadow's bad gas, rude attitude towards one of his fans, as well as him wanting me to make the cups of tea. It all made sense.
More importantly does Shadow's family know of his alien roots, or are they all aliens too? Suddenly I heard the doorbell ring, and I got up to see who it was. BIG MISTAKE! I opened the door to see Shadow back in his skin suit looking at the floor, he looked up at me, and said in a cold dark voice, "Mr Richards."
I slammed the door in his face, and made my way into my kitchen. From behind the door, I could hear the creature growling as Shadow unmasked himself.
Shadow broke down the door with his immense strength, and made his way towards the kitchen door which I had locked. Needless to say it didn't take very long for him to get in, as he entered the kitchen reading to strike.
"How long have you been Shadow?" I asked while sobbing. "Ever since I started my channel way back in 2017."(A/N: is that when your channel started Shadow? I honestly don't know.) "What do you want?" I asked inbetween sobs. "To destroy the world, and turn into oil. There's a Great Depression up on my home planet, and I redruce the Earth into molten slack which will help power every spaceship, and star liner in the galaxy." Shadow explained. Heck shouldn't I even call him Shadow anymore? "You'll die with it though." I said. "No I won't. I'll be safe in my trailer which is actually my spaceship. It's just parked. I'll be to watch the universe explode in the comfort of my own living room." Shadow said, and then finished with, "now it's time to kill!"
However, Shadow's loud stomping caused a blueberry muffin which was located on my top shelf to fall on top of him. Shadow then cried, "No not blueberry muffins my one true weakness!" Shadow then exploded into a million bits, and my kitchen was left in a mess of mush and guts.
So there you have it the truth about The Shadow Reader. As I write this down, I'm wondering whether any other creepypasta narrator could be an alien as well. DaveTheUseless, Shadow Lioness, HoodoHoodlumsRevenge? They could all very well be aliens in disguise! I should also mention that I bought Shadow's trailer just so no other aliens try, and use it to destroy the planet.
So the next time you want to meet your favourite YouTuber just remember this story.
Credited to Bruno Tattagllia
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