The Ugly Barnacle (Extended Version)

Once upon a time, in the city of Bikini Bottom, there lived an Ugly Barnacle. The barnacle was so ugly that every single person who looked at it literally died from how ugly it was, or had a panic attack, or committed suicide afterwards. The Ugly Barnacle was then shot and killed by the Bikini Bottom police department in fear that it would frighten other innocent Bikini Bottom citizens to death as well. This terrifying tale was also told by EVIL PATRIXXX to his best friend, SpongeBob, but in a much shorter version. It was supposed to help with SpongeBob's depression, but unfortunately, it didn't help at all and SpongeBob became so depressed that he shot himself with a ping pong paddle that he got from the mail. EVIL PATRIXXX, however, obviously survived and simply laughed it off with his FRICKIN' EVIL LAUGH OF DOOM!

Also, beware of ever encountering EVIL PATRIXXX, because if you do, he will tell this absolutely fucking terrifying and gut-wrenching story to you, and then you'll most likely commit suicide by using a ping pong paddle, just like SpongeBob did to himself.

The story, however, is still widely known by numerous Bikini Bottom citizens, and causes panic and suicidal thoughts from the Bikini Bottom citizens who hear it, including many suicides caused by shooting themselves in the head with ping pong paddles.

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