Vegetable Man
A disturbing program came on TV earlier. It was called "Vegetable Man".
It started off nice enough, as it showed a woman walking through the grocery store, looking for food. The camera followed her through the store until she reached the produce section. That's when I saw him. It was the Vegetable Man!
"LOOK OUT LADY!" I thought in my head... but it was too late.
He raised his carroty fingers and began to growl and moan evilly, as the woman screamed in terror and fled. The Vegetable Man chased her through the aisles, moaning and groaning at her. She wasn't going to make it out.
"The store will be closing in one minute," said a voice on the intercom. "Please bring your final selections to the front..."
The woman ran up to the counter and the Vegetable Man touched one of the cashiers. He turned into a bell pepper.
"RERRERRRGHHHH!!!!" the Vegetable Man cried, and ran towards the woman.
"NO!!!!!!" she screamed, and ran for the door, but the automatic door was moving slowly shut... and then...........
It closed. The camera zoomed out on the store and you could hear the horrible scream from the woman. Back inside the store, the Vegetable Man ran back to the produce section and laid down again to wait for his next victim...
"YOU'RE NEXT" flashed on the screen. It gave me the chills. It made me want to piss. I got up to use the bathroom, and did my business. After a long piss, I started feeling hungry... so I got my keys and drove all the way to the local grocery store.
"Hello, there!" I said as I walked into the store to the cashier lady. I was glad Vegetable Man was just a TV show, and not real. I started to go around and select my items, stopping in the produce section to pick up some potatoes, onions, and carrots. I continued on and bought some delicious roast. After I got done finding all of my items, I went up to the front to check out.
"Hello, there!" I said to the cashier lady again. She smiled at me and started checking out my items.
"47.80" she said.
I paid for my things and left, getting home quickly. I was so ready to make this stuff! I went into the kitchen and turned on the light, getting some dishes out of my cabinet.
"This is gonna be so good!"
I took a picture of it to post on Twitter, because I was so proud of myself. I put my phone in my pocket, and I got to work, making sure everything was perfect before putting the food in the oven.
"Ah! That was thirsty work. I think I'm gonna get a drink..."
I went to my fridge to get a drink, but when I opened it VEGETABLE MAN POPPED OUT AND TURNED ME INTO CABBAGE AND THREW ME IN THE OVEN AND COOKED ME TO DEATH!!!!!!!!
Written by Meaty
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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